Decisions
by LilDyke
Summary: People are the sum of their decisions in life. So is Cassiopeia too.


Trying something new, well enjoy. maybe leave a comment and share.

* * *

„You always were a snake under the skin, you betrayed me. You deceitful bitch" Sivir said angrily. There were things in life someone never forgot and never forgave. Cassiopeia knew this and she couldn't blame her for this. She could see Sivir clenching her fist hard around the crossblade she wielded in battle.

"I know. Believe it or not, even monsters can regret" A dark laughter escaped Sivir's throat at that and snapped at her. "AS IF!"

Cass looked at her in defiance, but remained calm otherwise. Slowly she wriggled forward, leaving Sivir behind. She didn't felt like arguing with her and knew she couldn't say anything to convince her. Because words out of a snake's mouth were always considered a lie. That's all there was in her life. Being a snake. Crawling on the ground. People fearing that she bite them as soon as they turn their back to her. It was like this before she turned into what she is now. Even if her family always mocked her for her missing killer instincts.

 _You are a Du Couteau. There is nothing else for you in life than this honor._ This words of her father ringing inside her head. Always a Du Couteau, always a snake, always a monster. But whatever she did, there were never regrets. All this seductions in her past to get information. She didn't regret playing with the heart of several men and women alike. She did it for the family, for Noxus.

However, there was this one moment in her life she did a significant mistake. Her first kill-to-be. She made the wrong choice and a bad decision is capable of destroying your whole life. Where once long, elegant legs with soft, smooth skin had been, now was a long scaly tail. Smooth in fact, but hardened. Making her a monster on the outside, for all to see, for all to be warned.

She didn't realized where she went until the sounds came back to her. People talking, laughing, screaming even. In between, the clattering of plates, forks, knifes and spoons. The canteen. Her growling stomach explained why she was here now. "Fine" she sighed and went to the counter with a tray to get some food.

A high-pitched voice next to her startled her a bit, still trapped in her own thoughts. She would know under millions of people whose voice this was. Everyone would. The Lady of Luminosity. Luxanna Crownguard. She was talking to herself, stretching upwards for the pudding she wanted to eat, but failed. She was too small for the high desert counter, at least for the kind of desert she wanted. For a few seconds Cassiopeia watched her, smiling a little amused.

She then lifted herself up a little, taking the last cup of pudding. She felt the young woman tense a little at that. She wasn't sure if it was her presence or the fact that took the pudding, but then Lux's lip curled up into a pout betrayed the second option to be the reason. The half-snake chuckled at that and placed the pudding on her tray and patting her shoulders shortly. "There you go."

"AH! Thanks! How kind of you!" Lux smiled the brightest smile Cass has seen in a while. She just gestured with one hand to calm down. Too much. Again she left without a word, sitting down with her own tray next to her older sister.

"Hey Cassie, what's up?" Katarina asked her instantly, seeing that her little sister was troubled.

"Nothing."

"Oh come on? Even Lee can see that something is wrong. You've got some serious frown on your face."

"Leave me alone" Cassiopeia hissed annoyed. She didn't like when someone meddled with her business. At least not when she dismissed them right away.

"Actually, you're the one who joined us on the table" Swain said bluntly. That was enough. Without any other word she lifted her body up from the seating position and let herself get carried by her snake half. She heard Kata shouting something about eating and energy, but did not react. Only a certain mercenary made her slow down. Her eyes were glued on her, a death glare. Sivir bumped her shoulder against hers violently, turning her head enough to keep a wary eye on the snake-woman. Albeit being provoked by the rude gesture Cass didn't say anything. The earlier conversation still nagging on her brain. Just an exhausted sigh left her lips before she took her leave once again.

Kata saw what was going on. Since the day Sivir survived Cassiopeia's stab in the back, the Battle Mistress hold anger against her little sister. She never let an option pass to blame her and Katarina never saw her fight so fiercely in the Fields of Justice then in the matches where the half-snake were her opponent. She barely saw this much fervor in anyone's eyes. However, there was nothing more than this that could betray a human's feeling so much. All the anger, the passion, the hatred even. They all showed how much impact Cass still had in her life. That's why she didn't let her go. The reasons for searching argues with the cursed woman.

"Sivir" she growled menacingly, bending the metal of her knife. While Cass and Kata weren't the idol of sibling love, Kata still took her job as a big sister serious. Teaching, guiding, caring, protecting. She knew that her little sister never got over her own action, never had forgotten about this woman and most likely wouldn't be able to forget this woman which kept her trapped. Egoism. Pure egoism. She needed Cassiopeia like the air to breath. That's why Sivir didn't let go, keeping her close, despite all anger.

* * *

She had to change something. It nagged at her day and night. She couldn't sleep anymore. Eating got harder. She felt her curse burn like acid in her veins. Cass couldn't bear it anymore. She had one chance, one option to make a change in her life. Her last chance. And it had to be this afternoon. No more fleeing, no more hiding, no more waiting. Before she could think about it, she found herself on Sivir's door. _Here we go…_

She knocked. Once, then again. The door opened and as soon as the mercenary saw her archenemy she tried to slam the door shut, but a certain snake-tail already slipped in a little.

"OUT!" she shouted furiously. "Get the hell out of here you damn snake!"

"Sivir…please just…"

"I SAID OUT!"

"Take this" Cassiopeia said, two knifes in her hand. Sivir frowned at her, automatically flinching and grabbing her crossblade that had leaned against the wall.

"What is this? A trick?!" she snapped. A frustrated sigh escaped the half-snake's throat, before pushing the enwrapped knifes into her free hand. She clenched her jaw for a brief second. She had waited for this chance far too long now.

"No…" she mumbled, then raised her voice in full seriousness. "The knifes are not similar to each other. One is a mock-up. However, the other is the real deal. The one with your name on it is the real thing. It's up to you. You're choice. A Du Couteau is not allowed to apologize, but we can regret and we can pay back our depths. I love you Sivir…"

Sivir stared at her with blank expression. She couldn't believe her. Of course not. She was a snake after all. No one trusted a snake. To proof Cassiopeia's thought she pulled out both knifes to check the blade. The blank one was nothing near sharp or hard. Easily she could push it together, a trick knife. The other one that had her name engraved was sharp ad pointy. A perfect, deadly blade. Able to kill Cassiopeia with one stab. Like she did once herself.

She looked up again to see half-snake moving away. It was up to her. This night. Cassiopeia gave her the option, the choice. She could take revenge, practice justice. Or she could spare the woman's life. _She won't do this._ _Not after what I have done to her_ Cass thought and sighed, preparing herself mentally to say goodbye to this world. _Maybe it's for the best. Sometimes only death can free you._

Before she would go to bed today she wrote a letter to Katarina and Talon, also to the few persons she considered friends. Someone would find them sooner or later when she wasn't alive anymore. After she finished the last letter and put the pen to a side she took the picture of Battle Mistress out. "No matter how often I regret and ask forgiveness…it's never enough. I am truly a monster. You have no idea how badly I want to travel back in time to fail my mission beforehand."

She turned off the light and went to the big, round bed. Curling up for the last time, hugging her pillow and holding the photo close to her chest. She waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing happened. Nervousness raised. Heartbeat getting louder, making her deaf to her surroundings. She had hoped for a quick end. Not this torture of waiting.

Finally, she heard her door open that she had left open a few centimeters. Her pulse was picking up the pace. Even more when some weight pressed down on her bed. She opened her eyes to look into Sivir's. No word was spoken. Tension on both ends.

Then the Battle Mistress pulled a knife and held it up. _Yeah…I knew she would choose like this she_ smiled sadly, looking up to the dooming blade with this wonderful name. One. Two. Three. The number of stabs she felt in her skin, but this pain couldn't compare to what ate her alive all the time. She felt her conscious slip slowly, warm blood running down her side and eyes watching her. Eyes like an oasis in the middle of the desert. Three words reached her ear only barely, but the made her smile the happiest smile in so many years. "You are forgiven."

* * *

A bad decision can change someone's whole life. They can't go back in time and change what happened. They only can ask forgiveness, pray or try to make up for their mistakes.

"Do you regret your choice, Sivir?"

"No. I don't have regrets considering this."

"I see."

"We all have to live with our decisions and scars. Life is full of suffering and there is barely good in the world to make up for it." Sivir explained calmly.

"Scars are not always bad. They remind us of battles we fought. And lost or won."

"Shut up, you scaly smartass. Happy anniversary" she smiled now, leaning in to press her lips on the scar that formed an 'S'. It took three stabs to form it, to mark her belonging. Cassiopeia tightened her grip around her partner, tail wrapped around her woman.

"I love you, Sivir" she hissed lowly, pulling her into a kiss. Sivir returned it roughly and with passion, leaving Cass no chance to retracting her fangs. She tasted iron. However, there was no time to wipe the blood from her lips, her Battle Mistress getting fiercer.

"I love you too, Cassie."


End file.
